First of all, welcome to my blog. Believe me I have many! For various different themes and purposes, but I felt it was time I get back to blogging for its original purpose in my life, which was to share my many musings with you all.
Today I am here to write about one of the most irritating and fashionable hashtags of this day and age… #RelationshipGoals.
Now before I rant about the absurd Ideal that said # presents, let me share a few things about myself. I am in a very happy and successful relationship, that I have worked my damned hardest to maintain – shall I note, so as he! I am extremely passionate about my life, adventures and work, but am completely devoted to keeping the passion alive in my relationship, because I want our love’s flame to never die, so it is like a giant pizza oven that is constantly fed wood and has dough to cook all the time! I completely agree with working towards your relationship goals and ideals with your partner, and it is a 50/50 game in my humble opinion – I am COMPLETELY against all these blogs and pieces of advice that basically tell you your man has to do everything. HELLO PEOPLE! FEMINIST MOVEMENT 101 you do not need a man to do ANYTHING for you… it’s just nice if they do! So onto why this particular # aggravates me more than a cat trying to claw my legs…
Women and #RelationshipGoals
All of my friends have been involved with guys in various forms of levels throughout university, when this # did not exist – thank god! – and I was single. I was never jealous of them per say, I had moments when yes I would have loved a male companion to give me a foot rub, but mostly I was fine. In fact, I beamed with happiness for my friends to have found such happiness themselves. Now, having lived with these couples I also know that in a house, not everything is pretty or perfect. I also know that people only post photos of what is inherently beautiful and perfect. SO WHY THE HELL IS IT YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOAL TO HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU AND YOUR MAN? See, this is a flawed compliment! You do not know what is going on behind closed doors, so get the hell off of these people’s photos. And why would ANYONE set their relationship goals on a Made in Chelsea or The Only Way is Essex photo? ARE YOU MAD? Do you know how scripted or how many times these people get dumped and swap partners? Pretty low relationship goals if you ask me.
Second of all… GET YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP. It grates on me more than anything in life that most single women dictate happiness through the presence and companionship of a man. If that is the way you want to be fine… I have very dear friends of mine that are like that and they know I do not agree with it. Yes, call me a hypocrite all you like, but it is exactly because I am HAPPILY in love that I can tell you we are happy precisely because we know how to live independently, but we want to share it with each other. Neither myself or my partner NEED each other’s presence. We want it. I don’t need him to buy stuff for me, I want him to. He does not need me to cook his meals – he is a great cook! – he just wants me to. There are times when we need each other for emotional support, but really as a human being, I don’t require him. I want him.
So before you invest some serious time into finding a man, try to work on your own stuff. Seriously girls… love yourselves before them. Learn how to be happy in your own company, no one will ever serve you as well as you do yourself. Believe me. If you are in a relationship, this will also help you fix a world of problems. Men enjoy protecting you, but they fell in love with you when you were an independent self sufficient human being, so always keep a bit of that going, it will only balance out your relationship life.
Finally, why is #RelationshipGoals such a negative thing… it also puts pressure on the couple you are admiring. Privacy is something I am adherent to 100%, Yes I have a Facebook and Instagram account, I blog but I am not telling you anything about my private life, I have a twitter account in which I compliment Amazon for their wonderful work and look at the musings of my favourite performers. I do not have a relationship status, nor do I tell the world if I am sad or mad, or sat in a McDonalds in whatever town eating a cheese burger. My photos are all private so only my friends can see them, my boyfriend and I don’t share our fights or even love for each other online… why go virtual when I can do real? I instagram photos, only for about 60 followers who are all friends and family. I don’t want my relationship to be scrutinised by any of you. Neither do the celebs really, they are just exposed to it. What if it goes wrong? Well shit, there go your relationship goals. I mean you will NEVER get to hold hands the same way Alex Mytton and Binky Felstead did… yes I watch MIC! I mean COME ON!
It is great to see people in love it really is, but stop wishing for your life to be theirs. You have a wonderful path ahead of you and wonderful someone who you will be setting your own relationship goals with. If you must know mine, they are simply to make sure I feel secure, healthy and happy with my man as well as making sure he feels those same things with me. The rest, all our moments and adventures, they are ours. We don’t publish because we want them to be ours, but if we do in the odd occasion showcase a photo of us somewhere, we don’t want our relationship to be your GOAL. We want to simply remind people that you will find someone to set your own goals and adventures with, and we’ve been lucky enough to find each other.